SPORK! AN EROTIC LOVE STORY - posted on ontd_startrek

Did you ever notice that the Star Trek audiobook could be edited together in such a way as to make it sound like Kirk and Spock are fucking? Surprisingly graphically?

*wild hands* Okay, sometimes I have to bow at the altar of my fellow fans.

Mmm. Is there anything better than waking up and looking out the window to gaze upon a snowy/rainy kind of slush, and knowing that you won't have to go outside in that today?

A few things, sure. But then to have all this happen on top of it?

Then the FedEx package you were concerned about sleeping through the broken doorbell ringing for does manage to permeate your sleep-deprived consciousness, and you buzz them in so they don't have to wait outside as you pull on pants and head down the stairs?

And then the FedEx person brings it up the stairs to you? And you don't even mind that it's "early" because, you did have exactly 9 hours of sleep, which was your goal to help you become a better, saner person?

And then you lie in bed a little longer for some light dozing, and you think, Self. What should I do today? You could write (*and you pause for laughter*), you could watch another Pride & Prejudice film (since you watched all of BBC P&P with nightchik the weekend before, and 2003 so-bad-it's...not good...but-almost-not-terrible P&P two nights ago, and today can be Keira P&P?) And perhaps you will order a parmesan and sausage pizza!

And you can re-organize and clean your house!

Sadly, the last thought was exciting enough to get me up. I get to organize my bills today. I've been in the mood to do it all week, but I was too exhausted by work to do much other than curl up and read terrible fic and drink Trader Joe's Sipping Chocolate like it was going out of STYLE. I had this one cup of...well, a chocolate pudding thing once in Europe, and it was the most amazing thing EVER, and this is the closest I have found to replicate the experience.

...and that was fascinating, I'm sure. EITHER WAY, today is a day of sloth! And cleaning. *glee*

Seen on half my flist - livejournal is offering holiday coupons -

If you have a Paid or Permanent account, you can send up to 10 LiveJournal Basic/Plus users a $10 coupon for an annual paid subscription now through January 15th, 2011. Recipients can upgrade for $9.95 (instead of $19.95) for one year by enrolling in our automatic payment plan or make a manual payment of $15 (instead of $25). Please note that these coupons are not transferable and cannot be used to renew existing paid accounts. If you're a Paid/Permanent user, you can send out your holiday coupons now!

So...any Basic/Plus users out there need a coupon?

ETA: Six left!

Oh God. I might've busted something laughing.

You think this is hard? Try being the Michael Sword - that's hard! by maskedfangirl - Glee/SPN crossover.

...yeah, you read that crossover right.

Okay, so this was a lot to take in. But Sue Sylvester was a winner, and winners could think on their feet. “What exactly is a Michael Sword?”

I just had a really wretch day at work, wherein I really wanted to cry, but womaned up and swallowed my pain and instead bought a slice of chocolate cake with icing that I COULD SEE MY FACE IN and hovered over silent tears the afternoon.

And now there is delicious lasagna, and breadsticks, and I am in a live chat with this man on my EJami board, and life, life could be worse. There's a side chat open where we can all coo at his answers, and I'm hoping desperately he's not in there. He doesn't seem super tech savvy, so. There is hope. He's a brave man, entering a chat room with 125 of his most...ah, devoted fans. *grins*

So I didn't do the Wishlist meme this year, mostly because if I HAD it would be to ask for this, only this: ALL THE FIC IN THE WORLD FOR THESE TWO EVER.

*collapses* serrico omg look look why aren't you lookingggg. HE LIT A CANDLE AND SET OUT SNACKS AND ALCOHOL AND WROTE JASON'S NAME A BILLION TIMES ON THE CHALKBOARD AND ACCUSED HIM OF PLAYING HARD TO GET AND I NEED JASON TIED UP IN A BASEMENT AT FRANCO'S MERCY RIGHT NOW. HE ONLY WANTS TO LOVE YOU AND GO OFF WITH YOU KILLING PEOPLE INTO THE SUNSET COME ON WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF ROMANTICISM.

*claps hands over mouth*

Via elandrialore's journal - Anyone who needs a little dose of happy, this one's pretty fun:

PSA: For those not getting comments notifications (everyone?), you should be able to see comments left on your journal here, and if you scroll down, you can see comments you've recently made, if you want to go see if anyone's answered those on the posts themselves.

THANK YOU to suzvoy, grlnamedlucifer, fleshflutter, elli, everysecondtues, aelora, anitac588, iscaris, captain_tibbs, shinetheway, seperis, jade_dragoness, beet, norabombay, icalynn, wendy, tikiberry and the anons for all my awesome snowflakes and festivus poles! :D :D :D

See, this is why LJ is kind of dumb sometimes. A bunch of people have a ton of fun sending FREE SNOWFLAKE COOKIES AROUND, and then it turns out it's just a mistake on LJ's end and they admit to it? NO. You say, WHY YES, I LOVED giving you all free profile snowflake cookies, 'cause I LOVE YOU, CUSTOMER! It was always a plan to give you snowflake cookies, 'cause we're awesome like that! And you're awesome like that! And all this general awesome is deserving. It was like, free general goodwill and they're all: NO MONIES COME BAAAAAACK? *tsks sadly* Also, I'd be willing to bet they made a nice chunk of change while people paid for the .99 cent ones as they sent out some snowflakes, so they should totally do this on purpose sometime.

Whatevs. *hoards cookies omg*

Hmmm. Is there anyone out there who does really awesome bookbinding? I have a holiday project I need some help with, and first I'd need to bounce some ideas off of you, and we can see if you can help me out. I will happily pay you for your services. ;) It should be an incredibly easy project (and by easy, I mean, the material that would be bound wouldn't even necessarily be of the length to qualify as a book? Basically, I'm looking to make something incredibly pretty, and am pretty flexible on how it gets done), but it will have a very short turnaround time.

Please comment with your e-mail if you'd like some more details.

Randomly:

- I didn't post a reminder that undermistletoe sign-ups were closing yesterday, so if you forgot to sign-up...you know, go for it. *easy hat*

- The first hits of Extreme Cold hit Chicago this week, so I decided it was time to invest in a new winter coat. I'd thought that my coat was pretty good, but now that I have my new coat (from Macy's! 40% off!), I see how very, very wrong I was. I was sweating in this coat today, and it was GOOD. I also went and got a new scarf, mittens and hat to go with it, as its a brown coat, and all my accessories are for a black coat.

- I got up early to go to my massage appointment, and then I went to the Whole Foods only to find out that they got rid of my crepe mix. I had to buy chocolate pizzelles to console myself. And then I went to the bakery and bought a donut and an eclair, and was listening to a guy trying to get his wife to eat half of his cookie because he "couldn't finish it all!" and I was like, my God, your poor lives. I might not have crepes, but at least I have my soul.

Things that are seperis's fault:

- Finally bought bulbs for my bathroom! It took Jenn pointing out that they were a different size for it to fully register. *sad panda face for self* It's all blindingly bright again.

- The Adam/Kris story has hit 8400 words.

- I kind of want to call it "How to Be An Ethical Homewrecker".

- I finally admitted to her that I hadn't bothered to listen to Adam's new album at all, so the next thing I knew, I had an Amazon gift card in my inbox. I decided to buy the CD so as to support the physical album sales (take that, Susan Boyle and Andrea Bocelli!) and downloaded the .zip file, ah, elsewhere. I can't stop listening to Sleepwalker, What Do You Want From Me and Fever. SIGH.

Things that are not Jenn's Fault:

- Global warming.

- I am trying to decide if I should walk down to Target to buy a fan, or if I should hang out here in the dim hopes that someone will be coming to fix my heat. Mostly, I want to listen to Sleepwalker and ponder the story as I walk, so I suppose that's one decision made decisively here.